Which One Of The 5 Love Languages Do You Speak? Find Out

Which One Of The 5 Love Languages Do You Speak? Find Out

Love is more than just a four-letter word; we communicate our love in different ways and these behaviours are called our love languages.
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Do you have a friend who appreciates a clean home over chocolates or flowers? Or know someone who swoons over words of appreciation but doesn’t like the cliched ways of romance? This is a very basic and realistic example of love languages.  

We all express and receive love differently, but it also means that love can get lost in translation when partners, friends, or family members speak different love languages. For example, imagine planning a lavish and romantic dinner date for your partner on their birthday but them responding with, “I would’ve been happy staying in and snuggling in bed too.” This doesn’t mean they’re unappreciative or ungrateful about your efforts, just that their love language is different than yours.  

What Are Love Languages?  

The concept of love languages was developed in 1992 by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he explains five unique styles of love languages, a way of communicating your love in different manners, that he categorises based on his learnings from his experience in marriage counselling and linguistics. And while we may relate to all of these love languages, there’s a particular one that speaks to us the most and that becomes ours.  

The Kinds Of 5 Love Languages   

1. Words Of Affirmation  

For people whose love language is words of affirmation, verbal expressions of love, appreciation, and encouragement are extremely important. This can also translate into digital communication, cute text messages, phone calls, compliments, and pointing out what they do really well.  


It could be yours if:  

You enjoy hearing “I love you” often and thrive when you’re encouraged by people who you love.  

If this could be your partner’s: 

Give them words of appreciation, encouragement – more “I love you’s”, “thank you’s”, and “you matter to me’s”, etc. Send an unexpected note, text, or card to cheer them on. 

2. Quality Time  

People who love quality time feel more adored when spending time with their partners. And this is not just going on fancy dinners or movie dates, this could also mean grocery shopping together, going on a drive, or just staying at home and talking. They’re big fans of active listening, eye contact, and full presence and awareness.  

It could be yours if:  

You love making time for others and feel disconnected when you don’t spend enough time with your loved ones.  

If this could be your partner’s:  

Plan date nights, stay away from screens when you’re with them, sit together, go on walks together, and give them the time and space to openly communicate with you.  

3. Physical Touch  

Those who enjoy physical touch feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection like holding hands, cuddling, hugging, and more. Physical touch can be very affirming and serve as a powerful way to emotionally connect with the people you love.  

Image | Unsplash / Priscilla Du Preez 

It could be yours if:  

You feel a sense of connection through appropriate and consented physical touch and love when people embrace you or show physical affection.  

If this could be your partner’s:  

Make more effort to hold hands, be generous with your affection and indulge in types of PDA that make your partner feel important.  

4. Acts Of Service  

Acts of service are sweet and regular things that you do for your partner that make them feel loved and appreciated like helping with the dishes, running errands, cleaning the house, or putting petrol in the car for them.  

It could be yours if:  

You’re happy when someone helps you without having to be asked. And actions speak louder than words for you.  

If this could be your partner’s:  

Show them appreciation through small gestures like making them a meal, picking them up from work, taking on a chore or two that they don’t like doing, or drawing them a bath, etc.  

5. Gifts  

Gifting is the most straightforward love language of them all. When someone gives you gifts, you feel like the most special person in the world. Gifts are “visual symbols of love,” as Chapman explains. They represent the symbolic thought behind them and are cherished for what they represent. For those whose love language is gifts, they represent; a meaningful message, choosing something that represents the relationship, and the emotional satisfaction of receiving one.  

5 love languages gifting image
Image | Unsplash / Kostiantyn Li 

It could be yours if:  

You adore giving thoughtful presents and the most meaningful gifts. You take your time to come up with a gift that you know the giftee would appreciate.  

If this could be your partner’s:  

Surprise them with thoughtful gifts that are given not just for special occasions. Bring home a treat for them, gift them a plant or flowers on a random day or buy them something that makes them feel special. 

The purpose of exploring and understanding different love languages is to learn how to love your partner, friend, or family member in a manner that is meaningful to them. You make a conscious effort to focus on their needs rather than your own. In a relationship, learning your partner’s love language teaches you to speak in a language that your partner understands, ultimately building more understanding, intimacy, emotional intelligence, and a deeper connection.  

Read More: 5 Must-Read Books That Depict Different Kinds Of Love

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