If you are emotionally hurt by a relation that went south and feel let down by your past? Or now you doubt your own ability to sustain a relation, and believe that every new person coming your way is just a ticking time bomb?
You are not alone. The problem with such anxieties is that they don’t go away unless you deal with them. A break-up can alter your life in many ways, your feelings will go haywire, and you will take time to come to terms with it. It is okay, it is natural.
The catch is to healthily let go of the person, the relation, and the negative baggage. Most people blow off this process and rush into new relations very quickly, not realising that the emotional quicksand traps of their past, cannot be easily avoided.
You don’t carry trash around, you just get rid of it, right? This is the same. When you know something is negative and not required, we get rid of it in a healthy way.
It is time to let go of that past relationship ghost.
Accept
Accept and take responsibility for your past. Yes, something bad happened, but no, don’t let that affect the life in front of you. However bad the situation was, know that that was a bad chapter, and nothing more. You do not have to carry someone’s bad words or actions in your heart for life.
Acknowledge
Emotions only function in two ways. Either you control them, or they control you. No matter what extent of dysfunctional behaviours and patterns you have been exposed to, you must remember that you are in control and not the ghost. Forever blaming a person or a situation for your condition will only make you feel like a victim. You are bigger than that. If you continue staying a victim, you can be doomed to repeat negative behaviours.
Differentiate
Draw a clear line of difference between yourself and your ghosts. List out what sets you apart from them. Sometimes the words people say form an invisible cage around us. We limit ourselves inside it, and the way we see ourselves depends on how they treat us.
Break this cage. See what makes you different. Embrace the qualities that people love about you. Once you have a better idea about who you are, you will learn to filter other’s opinions of you.
You might experience a roller-coaster of emotions. When one day you feel fine but gloomy the very next day. It is okay. Consider this as the beginning of something new, something better.
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