A strong woman is someone who can stand up for herself, no matter what the situation. Whether she is in a boardroom or a village, whether she is single at 40 or married at 20, a woman who can look after herself and is independent – mentally and socially – is strong. A woman who has breastfed her child or chooses to not have kid/s is as strong as a pet mother or a nun too.
Empower your little girl to ‘be herself’ rather than conform to the standards doled out by society or mass media. Teach her to:
Be Comfortable in her own skin
Of course there are millions of images of perfect women everywhere you look. But it’s all an image. Nothing is real, or untouched, and if it is, it takes a lot of effort to look the way they do. It takes hours spent in the gym, drinking and eating healthy and clean consistently to look like they do. Tell your girl this before she wants to become like a celebrity who has a perfect hourglass mirror or glass-like skin. Make-up or no make-up, if you are doing it to impress others, it’s wrong. Do it if you like how you look. Do it if you want to, not because someone else is also doing it or asking you to do it.
Be Assertive
There is a thin line between being assertive and being aggressive. By teaching your kid to be assertive, show her how to say no without feeling guilty, speak up for herself and others around her, build self-esteem and stay confident.
Respect yourself, and other women
Some call it feminism, some call it equalism, you as a parent should teach her humanism. No human or gender is above any other. It is easy to fall in the trap of belittling others to make yourself feel good. Your little girl needs to know that one can truly feel good only if she respects herself and the other girls and women around her. We have enough patriarchy to deal with as a society, so it will take each girl to lift and support another one.
Right role models
Your girl might idolise anyone who catches her fancy – from Amelia Earheart to Cinderella – each one of them is the same in the eyes of your little one. It is upto you to explain, and how to explain which is the right role model for your child – the real one or an imaginary creation. But do not impose your thoughts. Let your girl make an informed decision. Teach your girl about what women before them have achieved, and what each one of us is capable of. But leave it upto her to follow what she desires.
Try everything
Children learn more by experiencing than by ‘being told’. Hence, it is up to you as a parent how many varied experiences you can provide your girl. Let her pick and choose, and follow what she likes but give her enough to pick from – from monster trucks to climbing on a tree or a wall, to skating and football to cleaning the house to petting a street animal – let her try everything that she can, while she can.
Break the mould, or not
Do not ask your little girl to conform or break gender stereotypes. It is okay for your girl to want to be a princess, Miss Universe, or a bus driver when she grows up. Do not shun their dreams or beliefs. Rather educate her about how women treated in various communities and countries, how women are treated as sex symbols in mass media, and why it is important to not fall prey to it.
Stay Independent
Look around you – many women in our society are still not financially independent, which takes away the opportunity of making decisions for themselves and their family. Start young when it comes to the financial literacy of your girl. Get her a piggy bank, and teach the concept of saving, taking a loan, spending from your piggy bank, etc to her. Teach your child to not seek happiness from one person or situation. You can also speak to a mental health professional to guide your child better.
Personal safety and hygiene
Teach your girl about good touch and bad touch early through books and internet. She should know that no one has the right to touch her without her consent, even if it is a hug or a peck on cheek. Empower her with age-appropriate knowledge about her body and bodily functions. Educate her on how to take care of her body as she grows up, the concept of menstruation and sanitary options available.
As Coco Chanel famously said, “A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” It is our job as a parent to enable this.
Ananya is a WFH mother based in Delhi.
Read more: 10 Reasons Why You’re Not Achieving Your Ideal Weight and What To Do About It
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