How To Not Let Anger Take The Better Of You?

How To Not Let Anger Take The Better Of You?

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Grief is an extremely strong emotion. It is usually brought upon by the loss of someone very near and dear. Mourning is a very personal form of expression. Out of the 7 stages of grief, anger is the third one, where people are mostly stuck at while expressing their loss of a loved one. This makes them stagnant in life, and it is essential to get over it in an effective manner. Read on to know more about the healthy ways to overcome anger of this particular nature.

Why we get stuck at anger?

There are now 7 stages of grief; shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression and acceptance. Fulfilling all these stages, leads to acceptance of what has happened and helps us move on in life.

healthy ways to overcome anger
Breaking the walls of anger | Image: File Image

However, most people regress to the third stage: anger. The reason being- it’s an easier veil to wear than everything else. Bereavement specialist, Virginia A. Simpson, describes anger as “just a shallow way of expressing grief”. This is because of the common belief that it is easier to show anger which is thought to be a show of strength.

As humans, we cannot understand why loss strikes us and why we have to lose our loved ones. All this is expressed in the form of anger, because it seems unfair and random.

Healthy ways to overcome anger:

Be honest with yourself: Anger, simply put, just makes you ignore and push down your real emotions. If you are honest with yourself as to why you are hurting, sadness and tears can bring about a purifying sense of relief.

Support and compassion: At times a little support and compassion for yourself and others around you is the key to healing.  You cannot fix your situation so do not try to do it. Just being supportive and compassionate reminds you that despite the loss there is something good that you can do. That is one of the extremely healthy ways to overcome anger.

Re-direct all the negative energy: Instead of channeling the negative energy inside you, on others or on yourself, redirect it in the form of art therapy, physical exercise, shopping, or something which will allow to positively channel all that energy.

Like grief, anger is complicated to explain and easy to feel. It is normal to feel angry over the loss of a loved one. But while expressing that grief in the form of anger we forget the damage it can cause in the lives of those still alive. Let’s bring about a change in the way we deal with grief by starting to adopt these healthy ways to overcome anger: the easiest of the stages to get swamped in.

Read more: When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Gets Going

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