All of us want to feel loved. But more often than not we associate love with only romantic relationships. Did you know that we’re capable of feeling eight different kinds of love? Each has a significant approach and role to play in our lives.
Let’s understand these different types of love.
Philia – Affectionate Love
The word Philia stems from the word ‘Philos’ which essentially means goodwill. Philia is the kind of love that is based on friendship and goodwill. This kind of love arises when we share similar values and understanding with each other. It’s the love and affection that we feel for our friends and peers. Philia ensures trust and respect between each other.
Our mind plays a major role in recognising and evolving this kind of love. Because it’s the mind that matches us with the people who are on the same wavelength as we are.
The best ways to strengthen this love is to remember that it is based on goodwill and being open and trustworthy is the key. It is also important to show your support and affection during trying times. Engaging in deep meaningful conversations makes it more real.
Storge – Familiar Love
Storge is the love that stems naturally without any external stimuli. It is the love that we share with our family. This kind of love runs deep and at extremely emotional levels. It the kind that exists between a parent and child.
The main component of strengthening storge love are the memories that we create. As we don’t remember forming this love the kind of memories, we create through time majorly influences the strength of our bond.
Though this love is immediate and comes without any effort, like any other love it also requires effort to grow. It is vastly important to share impactful and memorable moments together. Forgiveness and acceptance on all parts is very important. It also requires us to make personal sacrifices at times to strengthen or mend this love.
Eros – Romantic Love
Eros is the famously known Greek God of love. It represents romantic or passionate love. Eros is often described as primal love, the kind of love that arises naturally. The primary display of this love is physical affection. Eros desires the other person’s physical presence in our lives.
Our physical body and hormones play a major role in awakening this love in our lives. Over years, especially in literature this kind of love is compared with fire which represents the burning desire we feel for the other person.
Physical touch plays an important role in expressing and strengthening romantic love. Even small romantic gestures such as holding hands or a comforting hug go a long way.
Ludus – Playful Love
The origin of the word Ludus is ludo which means ‘I play’. This is a skittish kind of love that is often seen in the beginning stages of a relationship. Flirtatious and child-like it often leads to laughter and playful moments between two people.
Your emotions of excitement and interest, the butterflies in the stomach kind of moments serve this kind of love.
Very often than not ludus is associated with young love but it cannot be more untrue. Older couples who engage in playful and child-like banters have more fulfilling and happy relationships. It is important to engage in those whimsical conversations and laughing, having fun and spending playful time together.
Mania – Obsessive Love
We often see this kind of love in romantic relationships and sometimes even among friends. Mania is the kind of love that is rooted in the belief that the object of your love is the source of your survival and happiness. This leads to obsession, often resulting in the acts of unrequired jealousy and possessiveness. Mania is often triggered due to an unhealthy balance between romantic and playful love.
Mania kicks in the survival mode as you relate your self-value with your partner. We’ve often heard that a little bit of jealousy and possessiveness is healthy in a relationship, in fact, it is also natural. But not keeping it in check and overindulgence of it can cause unnecessary, sometimes toxic behaviours.
The best way to thwart this is by concentrating on self rather than looking for your worth in your partner. It’s is important to recognise obsessive behaviours before you act upon it.
Pragma – Enduring Love
Pragma is the love that has endured the test of time and has matured over years of choosing each other over and over again, no matter what. Pragma is more about rising in love together rather than just falling in love. This love is the combination of commitment, dedication and equal efforts by both the partners in the relationship.
The major catalyst of pragma love is the subconscious mind that drives you unknowingly but purposefully towards your partner, because you know you want to be with them indefinitely.
When we see an old couple holding hands during their evening stroll, we automatically wish for such a relationship for ourselves. But this kind of love you to keep choosing to work with your partner forever.
Philautia – Self Love
Philautia is the most important love. Especially if you’re looking for stability and happiness in your other relationships, it’s important to love yourself first. Self-love starts by acknowledging yourself, all your strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, developing and strengthening self-love exemplifies the love that you share with others, because you can only give what you have.
Philautia is about developing and strengthening relationship with one’s soul.
The best ways to develop self-love is by first acknowledging your self-worth. Spend time with yourself, take care of yourself the way you would care for a child. Only surround yourself with the people and energy that uplifts you.
Agape – Selfless Love
Agape is the purest, all-encompassing universal love that you feel. It is purest because it does not expect anything in return. Offering agape is a commitment to spread love in every situation. It’s like becoming the messenger of love. Agape is not a physical act but rather a feeling or emotion that you strive to express and spread wherever you go.
Selfless love is the act of the spirit. Its purpose is bigger than yourself. It’s rooted in compassion and empathy.
You can develop selfless love by being conscious of your actions and not letting your impulsiveness get better of you. Always be ready to perform an act of kindness whenever necessary.
They say what goes around comes around. Now that you know the perfect ways to express your affection, we hope that sharing love brings love back in your life.